Michelle “Crazy Eyes” Bachmann Not Running

No, Michelle Bachmann will not be on the intelligence committee anymore and the jokes that ensued from that oxymoron will suffer the most. 

Bachmann says her decision not to run in 2014 had nothing to do with concerns about being re-elected. She narrowly won a fourth term in 2012 over Democrat Jim Graves, a hotel magnate who is running again in 2014.

Bachmann also says recent inquiries into her 2012 presidential campaign did not affect her decision.

Not being in a position of responsibility, like her rival/heroine Sarah Palin, Michelle can more freely travel the country raising money for her and Marcus to live a lavish lifestyle on, speechifying to the Rascal riding, science denying, Jehovah-God loving masses, without the bother of any of that Congressional foo faw.

While I’d love to dance a jig at this news, and yes, unquestionably America is better off with Michelle Bachmann nowhere near levers of power, it would have been better to defeat her in Nov. 2014. This actually gives the GOP a better chance of defending the 6th District of MN, a solidly red district.

(On the other hand, you’ll never go broke betting on the GOP to find an equally moronic candidate to replace her with and blow it. Bless their hearts.)

Ironic that this happened the week the romance novel based on her life with Marcus came out. Yes, that’s a thing.

A new novel billed as an “old-fashioned bodice ripper romance” was inspired by the life of tea party champion and 2012 Republican presidential candidate Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN), the book’s publisher claimed. 

Fires of Siberia, written by Tréy Sager, centers around Danielle Powers, a presidential candidate “full of firebrand pluck and red state sex appeal,” according to the book’s press release.It will be released Wednesday by Badlands Unlimited, a company founded in 2010 that “publishes e-books, limited edition paper books, and artist works in digital and print forms,” per the press release. 

Like the rest of her career, one can only giggle. If you want to relive her greatest moments here you go.


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