We May Have Hit “Peak Beard”, Thank Goodness

I am constantly asking myself where all the beards came from. I’m particularly puzzled by the shaved head but big, bushy, backwoods beard look. It just throws the whole hair/head balance off in a disturbing lumberjacky sort of way way. Especially when seen in a Starbucks in Chelsea.

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But this Smithsonian article helps allay my fears of a bearded planet by asserting that we may have hit peak beard and, like the asinine cigar fad, they’ll probably start fading away again.

But, says Brooks, as “more and more people get onto the band wagon the value of being on the bandwagon diminishes, so that might be why we’ve hit ‘peak beard’.”

“Negative frequency dependent” selection is common in the animal kingdom, and it can be summed up as the notion that rare traits are sexy. In a sea of heavily-stubbled men, it’s the clean-shaven chap who stands out.

I’m not very beardly myself, can’t really grow a decent one – but when I’ve eschewed the razor for a week, to see what I could do, I’ve found it really uncomfortable and the wife HATES IT. So yeah, not into the beard. However, I at least understand the choice and that some women do like it, so go grow that beard if you can, man. What I don’t understand (kind of like how some people don’t get bisexuals) is the 3-day growth. Either be clean shaven or beard guy, CHOOSE!

I’m REALLY wondering how the 3-day growth look, pioneered 30 years ago by Don Johnson in Miami Vice, became so ubiquitous on TV lately that it now seems as if every man in every commercial has it. Who thinks that’s such an overwhelmingly sexy look that it’s an absolute necessity? In commercials people go to supermarkets, buy cars, go on dates, GO TO WORK with the 3-day growth that most real men actually only have when on vacation, accompanied by “I give up” sweat pants. 

2 thoughts on “We May Have Hit “Peak Beard”, Thank Goodness

  1. Hey, I am hurt. And I really have no choice . My wife has seen what is under the beard , so a shave will cost me half of whatever I own

  2. Sorry man. I like your beard. 1. I am a smidge jealous because I can’t really grow one; 2. I have an appreciation for the utilitarian beard: beards that cover deformities, or act as insulation in severe cold weather are smart. And I like Bearded Dragons.

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