U.S. Ranks 33rd Best in Motherhood

That’s right, our American mothers are 33rd best in the world, so take that crappy American mothers – you know who you are. You’ve been phoning it in since before Bell invented the phone!

No, actually our mothers are #1, blah, blah, blah, but our country provides the 33rd best nurturing atmosphere in which to be a successful mother, and dropping. Save the Children ranks the countries in their State of the World’s Mothers Report

Norway, Finland, Iceland, Denmark and Sweden are Nos. 1-5 – giving more credence to Bernie Sander’s question “What’s so wrong about wanting to be more like Scandinavia?” Of course we can’t be like Scandinavia because they’re so much smaller and whiter than we are. That’s what keeps us from providing health care and day care and better schools and more understanding job situations for women with children. It’s our overall size and darkness.

Somalia is #179 – last – so Rand Paul’s libertarian dream does work.

From CNN

The five indicators in the 2015 Mothers’ Index of 179 countries are the lifetime risk of maternal death; children’s well-being as measured by their under-5 mortality rate; educational status, as measured by children’s expected years of formal schooling; economic status, as measured by gross national income per capita; and political status, measured by women’s participation in national government.

So when we finally have a female president I suppose we’ll move up the list a bit. And if she can do what Bernie Sanders proposes we can get up into the top 10. But we’ll never be small and white enough to beat Norway. We’ll have to take ’em in hockey and be satisfied with that.

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