Rubio Says He Bought A Gun On Christmas Eve To Help Defend America Against ISIS

No really, he did.

“I’m a strong supporter of the second amendment. I have a right to protect my family if someone were to come after us,” Rubio said on Face the Nation. “In fact, if ISIS were to visit us, or our communities, at any moment, the last line of defense between ISIS and my family is the ability that I have to protect my family from them, or from a criminal, or anyone else who seeks to do us harm. Millions of Americans feel that way.”

Meanwhile Trump said that when he’s president department stores would say “Merry Christmas” instead of the left wing propaganda of “Happy Holidays.” Really he did.

Donald Trump Tells Liberty University ‘the Bible Is the Best’

Trump promised that if American Christians unified behind his candidacy, they would never again suffer the indignity of having a Sears employee wish them “happy holidays.”

“If I’m president, you’re going to see ‘Merry Christmas’ in department stores, believe me,” Trump said.

Hilarious! But not as hilarious as this nugget from Jerry Falwell, Jr. who continues the family business of being professionally holier-than-thou and fulleth-of-shite.

“In my opinion, Mr. Trump lives a life of loving and helping others … as Jesus taught in the New Testament,” Falwell said on Monday.