We had the spectacle of the sword dance, Trump curtsying (less masculine than a bow, but gutsy) and fondling a glowing orb (after which a sinkhole opened in front of Mar-a-Lago – coincidence?).

Then he goes to Israel and we get the first Melania hand swipe, Trump hoping for a “lasting peach” and this wowzer!

They get to Rome and the second Melania hand fake (really, she could be an NBA point guard), and the spectacle of Melania and Ivanka greeting the Pontiff in Italian widows’ garb.  So no head covering for the Saudis, but yes head covering for the Pope?  This is The Gang that Couldn’t Greet Straight.

Once again Trump celebrates the mischief only he can achieve, turning awkwardness up to 11. Nothing is awkward for Mr. Oblivious.

Okay, to be fair how the ladies dressed was perfectly appropriate, just not very imaginative for people known more for their fashion sense than their propriety.  A beautiful head scarf from the Ivanka Trump Women Who Work but Aren’t Allowed to Drive Collection would have been very nice in Saudi.  While in Rome they could have pivoted to, well, anything that didn’t look like they were going to jump into their late husband’s grave while rending their garments in misery.

Lord knows, Melania will not be wearing that outfit at Trump’s funeral or jumping into his grave out of grief.  Something floral and lively, spring-like, celebrating her freedom, with a very short skirt is more likely.  After all, your husband’s funeral is a great opportunity to meet Sugar Daddy No. II.